Chronic conditions are no laughing matter, but these tweets are proof that having a sense of humor about medical issues can be a great coping mechanism.
I have sleep apnea so I hafta wear the CPAP device, or as I like to call it:
The Tentacle Monster that ate my sex life.
— Jester D (@JustMeTurtle) July 14, 2018
The tests came back. First, the good news. You don't have hypochondria.
— Kip Conlon (@kipconlon) February 17, 2017
Me: *tells coworker what I made for dinner*
Coworker: *tells me about her husband's erectile dysfunction*
— Kidnapped Serena (@kidnapped_jesus) February 3, 2019
You haven’t witnessed sexy until I’m lisping dirty thoughts to you while wearing my sleep apnea retainer.
— Kris P Kreme (@krisv_723) October 8, 2018
Who names a drug Harvoni? To me it sounds like meat.
Gimme salami, baloney and Harvoni on rye. But hold the Hep C.
— Teri Daniels (@bylinetd) January 15, 2019
Your fascination with the Jarvik-7 is disheartening.
— Dingdong (@vaglaser) August 14, 2014
I see your compression socks and raise you a CPAP mask.
— Aunt ‘Chelle (@ravenswng_) August 9, 2018
[Getting lunch with a friend]
ME: Ugh idk why I'm so paranoid and anxious lately
MY THERAPIST: (spying on me from the next booth over) It's probably those trust issues..
— Matt. (@MattTheBrand) January 31, 2019
So I got a text from the doctor asking if my crap was properly hydrated. Turns out he actually wrote CPAP and no, I'm not adjusting to bifocals well.
— Uncle Jeff (@PickleRudd) December 5, 2018
Welcome to the ADHD Convention. We’re going to get started within the next 349 minutes.
— gavin (@distracdad) January 23, 2019
Her: I'm really only interested in inner beauty
Me: oh. I see...
Me: So I scheduled us for colonoscopies
— Jay Kay (@Swoosh61) April 1, 2018
Driving a minivan in the streets
Wearing a CPAP in the sheets
— Blah de Vivre (@blahdevivre) April 30, 2018
The worst part of a colonoscopy is that the doctor doesn't even buy you a drink and tell you that you're pretty first.
— Father Drinks McGee (@drinksmcgee) August 22, 2016
I have sleep apnea so I have to sleep with a CPAP mask strapped to my face.
What’s really fun now is falling asleep on the couch while watching Netflix and suddenly gasping for air like a landed cod.
— Wolvie (@WolvieJuice) February 9, 2019
Patient: doc you’re sure this is safe? Just a little radiation right?
Me, from a mile away behind some bullet proof glass, a wall that’s 45 feet thick, and a full suit of lead: uh huh, please hold still!
— Dr. Shadowgazer (@DShadowgazer) February 17, 2019